Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Incomprehensible!!

You know what I hate? Feeling retarded.

I am actually pretty conceited when it comes to things of an "intellectual" nature. I fancy myself well-educated, well-spoken and well-read. I can play the pretentious cards with the best of 'em. I can recite parts of the Canterbury Tales in OLD ENGLISH. I can tell you how Romeo and Juliet ends. I know, I know. You're pretty impressed about now. I also use some big words now again -- like "fatitious" and "myriad" and "juxtaposition."

And, of course, "incomprehensible."

Incomprehensible means, according to Webster, "impossible to effin' understand."

As in "the way I felt when I came across THIS PARAGRAPH while researching a topic for my MASTER'S DEGREE (that's right -- I'm just tossin' it in there for added validity) paper."

Departing from the assumption that focus is nonuniform (Drubig 1994; Kiss 1998) this paper takes preliminary steps toward a typology of focus and focus constructions. Focus is taken to be a syntactic feature assigned freely to word-level categories at numeration, licensed either by integration into a wider domain (presentational focus constructions) or by overt/covert movement to a functional projection headed by a polarity formative (focus operator constructions). Cross-linguistic variation in the target position of focus movement (sentence-peripheral vs. verb-adjacent) supports the stipulation of two polarity projections, one in COMP and one in INFL, with different effects on interpretation. A serious problem confronts the movement analysis of narrow focus in a number of languages that show striking parallels between focus and relative constructions (Schachter 1973): in some languages of this type sentence-peripheral foci bind resumptive pronouns without weak crossover or island effects. In this paper I propose a cleft analysis for this type of focus construction and discuss its typological implications.

In case you're wondering, "yes," it is in English. I sent it through an online translation program just to be sure.

Seriously. Does anyone understand this thing? (Don't answer if you do -- I don't need to be shown up by stuck-up smarty-pants bastards. Kevin.)

So, I didn't like the way this particular paragraph made me feel. Lesser-than. Dumb. Foolish. White-trashy. Ass-like. Arkansasian.

This phrase alone makes me what to pull my hair out: "sentence-peripheral foci bind resumptive pronouns without weak crossover or island effects." The guy who wrote this needs to move in with his fellow Mensa nerds and they can write this crap then read it aloud at their circle-jerk campfire.

And no, I'm not bitter. Just dumb, apparently.

8 comments:

Itchy said...

I like to go with the assumption that just because you (you meaning anyone not just YOU) do not understand that paragraph doesn't necessarily mean that it's your fault. It could be the fault of the writer. And that is what I'll do here. That person just made stuff up.

Redroach said...

Communication = understanding
If the writer isn't communicating his knowledge, then it is his fault, not yours.
He may be beating you in the head with his message, but if he doesn't communicate it, then he sucks

Oh yeah, smart people suck

Anonymous said...

For the love of God, Vicki....... Just remember "I didn't get none cake"

Anonymous said...

Correct me if I am wrong, but were the Canterbury Tales not originally written in Middle English?

I think Old English would be all but impossible to understand for a speaker of Modern English, and would still be very difficult to understand for someone schooled in Middle English.

Nitpicking aside (and, hey, I could be wrong), the example paragraph appears to be written by someone who is very impressed by the sight of his own words (imagine having to listen to this person speak). It reads much like the business/management/corporate-speak which permeates much of the business world these days.

Anonymous said...

Yo..I be workin' on my pHd and I ain't never seen dis shiz!

Vicki Stockton said...

Itchy -- I think they made it up, too. There's no way that stuff means anything to anyone. I hope.

TV -- Very true. If I ever start reading a novel that I find overly pretentious I put it down. It irritates me. And yes, smart people suck.

Catlover -- He he he he

Anonymous Coward -- Old English, Middle English??? Who can tell the difference? Possibly the man who wrote the sentence I posted can!!!

Kimmy -- he he he har har har. That be funny!

Tony -- Ahhh yes, Edward. He loves words. Maybe he wrote it???

Anonymous said...

Uh yeah.... I can't evern "focus" on this.

Anonymous said...

There's really a word for this..talking educated mindless stuff which makes no sense/confuses the reader and makes it look important.There's a wod..I kid you not.And you know what I hate? Not being able to remember a certain word when you need it :P
Shall get back to you with it.