Tuesday, March 21, 2006

American Tardol

You know what I hate? Kevin Covais. He's like a bad nightmare that just keeps returning each Tuesday night on American Idol.



Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't recall the show being called "American Tardol." Cause if it was, then I'd be expecting to see Corky Thatcher from the show "Life Goes On." He's my favorite tard in the world. He also has impeccible pitch. If you don't believe me, listen really closely for his little tard voice during the family's chorus of that "oob la dee, oob la da, life goes ooooooooooon" song that introduced the show each week. He totally rocks.

And while I'm on the subject, I don't recall the show being called "American LISPol" either. How is it that someone who sounds like Sylvester the Cat is in America's Top 10? What's next? "American Cleft Palatedol?"

I used to like Kevin Covais -- but that was when he was the underdog of the show. When he was still humble -- like the geeky tard-like kid who's somehow managed to stop the camera at the Idol auditions ought to be. Lately, however, the power has clearly gone to his head. The little perve suddenly thinks he's hot because Paula more or less molests him each show. Disgusting. Kev's bloated father even seems to find fault with Paula's overt violation of his little boy. He's always beet red.

Kevin Covais reminds me of those kids in grade school who act like they're proud to be a nerd, and who pretend to hate all the jocks, but if given the opportunity, they dump their fellow nerds in a heartbeat to be part of the jock crowd. And this usually on happens because one of the jocks is porking their older sister. That's Kev for you. Pre-Hollywood, he probably had a frumpy, little pimply girlfriend who liked to play Magic The Gathering. But ever since Kelly Picklar pinched his cheeks, the Magic the Gathering girl probably hasn't heard two words from him.

As I write this, he's probably performing some dorky uptempo song and thrusting his little deflated pelvis all over the stage. I've TiVo'd it so I can fast forward through the LESS appealing parts of the show!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://www.votefortheworst.com/

Go to this website and you will find out why he is still on. They are voting for the worst and he is it.

Great blog by the way!

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more...he needs to GO...NOW!!! We call him "sheep-boy" because his voice sounds like he is bahha-ing.

Anonymous said...

I have a recommendation: STOP WATCHING IT!

It is a silly show. Nobody on there has any real talent. Talented people write songs, play instruments,write lyrics. These idiots just sing.

Watching this show is like watching much of the Academy Awards. One has a bunch of idiots who just want to sing songs written and produced by others, and the other has a bunch of people who want to pretend to be other people in movies. None of them create anything.

That is why the show is soooo popular. It is a show about succedding as a superficial person in a culture that values superficiality. You shouldn't expect any kind of authenticity out of a product that is popular because it is inauthentic.

Vicki Stockton said...

Poor Kevin Covais,
He got voted out tonight and I felt a pang of guilt. Might my blog, read by many (at LEAST 3 regulars) have helped fulfill his destiny? I can't help but wonder...

Anonymous said...

For the most part America has selected the best Idol. Tonight there is some stupid show that is going to make these people sound like they are already stars of some kind and imply they shouldn't be considered for Idol. What will that do to chances? Oh, the drama! I'll take Ace.

Anonymous said...

I am very happy he got voted off. He was the reason I changed the channel during Idol each week. Now I can watch and enjoy it again...

Anonymous said...

Okay, now that we are rid of Chicken little, who can we grip about? How about Bucky? The one who's name seems to describe his dental needs.