Saturday, October 28, 2006

Itty Bitty Teetie Committee

Note: I will not be posting anything again until Nov. 5th as I'm vacationing in California!

You know what I hate? Today's youth. Not for the reasons you'd think, though. Not for the fact that they have no respect for adults or the fact that they spray paint gang insignia on the back of my block wall. Not for the fact that smoke cigarettes in my alley and leave their used condoms on the playground of the park. I guess I expect all that. I hate today's youth because they're way better lookin' than I was as an adolescent.

There's this phenomenon amongst teenage girls these days. I'm not sure if you've noticed it. In addition to being uncommonly good looking, they're....well...amplified. They're waaaaaaaaaay more endowed than me and all my friends were when we were entering puberty circa 1982. If you still aren't sure what I'm talking about, let me state it in layperson's terminology used by my always-eloquent 80-year-old grandpa, "them big-tittied blondes." (Oh yes he did say that.)
What the hell? Where are were my boobs? I got gypped! I belonged to Flatties R Us club and was treasurer of the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee (IBTC).

My husband comments frequently on his feeling cheated as well. He went to high school with a bunch of deflatees. Cause that's what most of us were back then. He often pontificates about whether high school boys appreciate the gift bestowed upon them by the breast Gods.

A lot of articles suggest it's the boobie growth hormone (rBGH) found in non-organic milk these days. Greedy farmers inject their heffers with it so they're teets get really gargantuous. Interesting theory, but I drink a lot of milk and....

...I'm still planning events for the IBTC.

Anyone got any better theories???

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree with you.

I have also noticed that young males today cannot grow hair on their bodies and some freak gene is making their brows all shapely.

Anonymous said...

I have no idea what you are talking about. What a sad situation you are in.

Love,
Ronda
President of "Ha Ha our boobs are bigger than yours club" (HHOBABTY)

Redroach said...

Girls today are nothing like girls when I went to school. There are Jr high girls that outclass anything I ever saw when I was in high school.

As my pappy would say, "They are built like a brick shithouse." Not sure what it means, but it sounds appropriate.

To make it worse, they are aware of their endowments and they show them off. If I had gone to school with girls who had what they have and put them on display I would have been a very well adjusted teenager.

As to why? I have no clue. But at least my first theory "I am just getting older and more perverted" is safely put aside. EVERYONE sees them, not just me.

TV

Anonymous said...

Yes, girl's are getting everything earlier. Here is a thought, they will get old and droopy sooner. And, the bigger the boobs, the lower they sling. There is always a payback at some point. And, how about those dents in the shoulders! Everyone wants some of those. Kevin has something there. Why are guys looking more like Mexican Hairless dogs? If girls think it is hard to shave their pits and legs, try shaving the face, the chest and the really hard to shave back (not to mention all the shaved heads).

Johno' said...

Here's my theory; over time, the expectations for how attractive people are in the media increase. People also watch more and more TV over time. This feeds a stronger preference for more attractive mates, thus breeding a more attractive (and better endowed) population. By the way, on behalf of the modern youth, I can say that teenage boys do absolutely appreciate the gift given to girls today (or boys for that matter).