You know what I hate? Potty Grunters. Potty Grunters is wife to Gym Grunters, who I wrote about in an earlier post. Potty Grunters thinks we should all know about "her business" -- "her business" being piss and shit.
Yes, Potty Grunters is the ma'am in the handicapped stall next to you. She isn't handicapped unless spastic colon qualifies. Potty Grunters sounds as if she's giving birth to an alligator -- teeth first. Like her husband, Gym, she has no vocal restraint whatsoever.
Potty Grunters doesn't only grunt when squeezing off a baseball bat-sized turd; she actually finds every task difficult. Sitting down, standing up, flushing. The CACAphony coming from her stall makes me want to toss a hand grenade in there with her. That's right -- if Irritable Bowel Syndrome doesn't kill Potty Grunters, I might.
Sadly, Potty Grunters is JUST the type of person who sometimes skips the hand-washing. I mean, the world revolves around POTTY GRUNTERS, so get over her stinky poo germs already!!!
8 comments:
How about Peeon Potty. You know her. She is the one that stands up to pee and doesn't wipe the seat. The people who are used to peeing in a hole in the ground and never learned how to use a toliet. I know AZ is filled with them.
CACAphony. Excellent. I recall reading about how in Japan, some bathrooms stalls have a special button that makes a simulated flushing noise to disguise the offending noises a women feels may be coming soon. It was invented after researchers found women flushing the toilets extra to hide the noises, but this device did the same thing while saving water. And with the wonder of the net, I have found mention in an appropriate site (which I am afraid to investigate beyond this link) http://www.poopreport.com/Travel/Content/Japan/japan_shameful.html
last part is: Japan/japan_shameful.html
I agree with Kristine. I can't stand those who pee on the seat. It can be dark and you never see it until you feel it. Ugh. I had a manager friend who didn't think she had to wash her hands after she peed. She said, her hand didn't get pee on it. I asked her how she flushed the toilet and got out the door without touching other people's pee! LC
Kristine -- I DO know her. I think she's really good friends with Potty Grunters. They may even be domestic partners. I'm not sure, but they leave their "signatures" all over the buildings at AMEX. They also go to the SAME movie theaters and restaurants that I go to! And by the way, the little wax paper sanitary covers have NO absorbency thus rendering them useless in my book.
Marc -- I get the Poop Report newsletter "Poop News" all the time, and I missed this story! I've actually submitted stories to Poop Report on occasion. Do you subscribe to the Poop Report newsletter, too? Because if you do, I'm afraid we're more kindred spirits than I originally thought...
LC -- Was this "manager friend" the same one who gambled all her team's borrowed money away? Gamblers are not only chronic seat pissers, but also full o' germs (not to mention completely imbecilic regarding the concept of "odds").
I hate the entire public restroom experience in general. Ew, ew, ew.
Vic, no the manager was not the gambler. She was young, attractive and an MBA! I guess an MBA doesn't necessarily mean smart in all cases! LC
Her relatives are "Ahhhhh" man, Hack man, Wash your hands and then pic your nose man, Don't flush your turd man, and the ever jovial Whistler.
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