Lucky for me, my place of business has a giant flat-screened TV mounted in the corner. Not only can I eat, but I can watch a 200% of real sized Wolf Blitzer, or 'Blitz' as Texas governors like to say. Here is a picture of me, enjoying my Lean Cuisine in an infinitely empty room of enormous size. A smile on my face.
Just to give you some perspective, let me pan out a bit.
But not even a minute into my meal, a Space Breacher arrived. If he'd been any closer, I'd have requested a condom. Not only did he choose the chair CLOSEST in proximity to me, but he sat in the ONE chair, among a SEA of chairs, that was directly under the television. So now I can't even watch Wolf Blitzer, because if I do, Space Breacher will think I'm crushing on him.
So I am left to stare down into my Lean Cuisine, hoping to see the face of Jesus or something slightly as exciting as Wolf Blitzer2X magnified.
As if this Space Breacher wasn't annoying enough just based on his breaching of my space, he also decided to sit spread eagle with a foot propped up on another chair. "Make yourself at home." Asshole. And guess what he was eating? No, not smelly fish. But close. Carrots. Really, really crunchy carrots.
On a douchebag scale, this guy is off the charts. Next time, in order to preserve my dignity and privacy, I may just have to eat underneath my desk.
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