Monday, June 12, 2006

That Ain't No Bull

You know what I hate? Well-hung stuffies. "Stuffies" is how we refer to stuffed animals in my family. "Well-hung" is how we refer to, um... well, you know. Geez. Don't make me blush by having to say it out loud.

My kids inherited an endowed stuffed bull from their grandpa, who had gotten it for free when he purchased a car from Earnhardt Dodge. Here he is. Pretty cute, right? Until you spread his stiff little stuffy legs...


...and discover this:


It took the kids about a week to figure out that something was protruding from "down there." I told them it was a handle. They've been carrying the bull around by his sack ever since.

I'm a little perturbed over the anatomically-correct stuffed animal! I mean, come on. Barbie, Bratz, Polly Pocket -- there are no nips, no hoo-has, not even a butt-crack to be seen on these ladies. They're smooth and private-less. And that's how it ought to be. I don't want to be having 'the talk' when my kids are 5 and 7. I need a few more years...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am blushing

andrea said...

oh my....

Marc Schoenfeld said...

I laughed at the term "hoo-ha." It just sounds like a perfect term used by teachers in the south when they teach sex ed.

Anonymous said...

Do they still give these bulls away? I thought they gave up years ago. (got mine from my grandma in '92, which I recently found in the shed.) Though I do prefer it to be somewhat anatomically correct, they'll figure it out one day. XD Though I still find it hilarious that Barbie has no crack.