I'm sorry, but are we really this hungry in Phoenix? Cause I'm thinkin' starvation is a better course of action than eating catfish from the banks of Sunnyslope. In fact, I'm pretty sure you'd be better off eating a spinach leaf with a hyperdermic needle stuck to it than you would eating a crud-water carp. Have you looked into the depths of a canal lately? Seriously. Let's think about this: canals are serial killers' preferred venue for dumping their bodies. This can't be a good sign!
I won't even talk about the fact that a canal is the poor-man's bidet. The poor, homeless man who has the runs due to eating a rotten hotdog from the QT garbage (true story, courtesy of my husband). I won't talk about that. Because I want you to enjoy your crap-flavored carp.
Or maybe this isn't about the food. Maybe we're not that hungry or desparate in Phoenix. Maybe it's about the sport. Yeah, the sport. As in, "kids -- go get your fishin' poles; we're headin' down to the wastewater treatment facility to have us some fu-uuun!" To this, I say, good for you. Good for you, canal fishin' dad, for taking the li'l ones for an afternoon outing they'll never forget.
They'll never forget the bloated prostitute torso floating by, or the used condoms bobbing in the water like a few slightly off-kiltered synchronized swimmers, or the brown engorged baby diaper, or the shardy crack pipe pieces or the bum washing his ass after eating a rotten QT hotdog. They'll never forget that day. These are the things from which memories are made.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take the kids to the Nuclear Power Plant to roast some marshmallows. Family fun for all!
7 comments:
I am laughing. I damn near shot diet cherry coke out my nose.
Thanks for making my day.
Oh yeah, one last little note. I am trying an secret blogs for teachers/teacher wanna be's.
If you know of anyone who is interested, send them my way, I will make them team members so they can post
http://jediteachertricks.blogspot.com/
tv
Mr. Teacher -- I will check it out and see what I can do. I don't know many teachers, but do know a lot of wanna-be ones :)
"Hey babe! Fire up the grill...I'm goin' fishin' today."
ewwwwwwww
Itchy -- do they have canals in Virginia? Do people fish in them? I always feel so clueless about other parts of the country.
Tony -- YES! The shopping carts. How could I have forgotten the shopping carts? They always have about 15 plastic grocery bags stuck to them, too.
The part of Virginia that I'm in is close to the Chesapeake Bay and the Atlantic coast. People will fish in different areas that I find questionable. One area I wouldn't even swim in...
I'm originally from WV and people would fish in the small creeks there...ew. No bloated corpses were there but plenty of trash. Too gross for me...
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