You know what I hate? Opinionated dumb-asses. I don't mind people being dumb-asses and I don't mind people being opinionated, but together, it's a terribly annoying combination.
First of all, this is probably my fault. Because not only was I shopping at the white-trashiest of department stores (Penney's), but I was also at MetroCenter where the clientele is, well, let's just say, "interesting." No, actually, let's not say "interesting." Let's say, "freakishly gang-like."
Despite the colorful mix of characters at Penney's (and I don't mean 'colorful' in a racist way, so shut the hell up), there were sales to be had. Awesome sales -- 50% off the lowest ticketed clearance price! I know, huh? Wow!
So, I found a few items marked down to $5.99. Fifty percent off the lowest ticketed price, remember. So I headed to the check-out counter expecting to pay roughly 3 bucks each for these items.
They rang in at $4.69.
"Excuse me, ma'am," I said. "But aren't those supposed to be 50% off the lowest ticket price?"
"Yes. Fifty percent off of the $5.99 price. That's $4.69."
Here presents that precarious moment where you want to call the sales clerk a big retard but you hold back because you don't want her spitting loogies in your cullottes, which you've seen a hundred times on those hidden camera shows.
"Ummm. Actually, wouldn't 50% off of $5.99 be about 3 dollars?" I'm being kind. I should really ask her why she chose to smoke pot instead of going to 3rd grade math class. Meanwhile, she's employed and I'm kissing the state's ass to earn my $214 per week. That's fair.
And here's where 'dumbassed' segues into 'opinionated'...
"Well, they're not all marked exactly 50 percent. Some of them are a bit less."
This is the point at which I know she's a bit fat liar. Because 4.69 is around 28% off of 5.99 and what kind of store marks things 28% off?? So, I say, nicely...
"Can you perhaps ask someone else?"
"For what?" I've offended her. I'm afraid the loogie into the cullotte might now be inevitable.
"For a second opinion?"
"No. The price is $4.69."
"Okay," I say meekly, as I put the items back. Then I decide that I may be back to speak to this lady again. I'm thinking she'd make a great business partner. We'd split things "50/50".
5 comments:
I love it!
One thing I can't stand is a rude dumb ass in customer service. I had this happen when a Walmart ASSistant manager gave me a hard time. I just wanted to bring to their attention that the price on the shelf didn't match the price that rung up. She told me she was going to change the price on the shelf right now and I would have to pay it. What a nut job! I was being all nice to her at first and she turned postal on me. I haven't shoppped there since!
My Walmart employs a wide variety of outcasts, including one deaf and mute guy. Good for him, right? Yes, except that I once had an urgent question and I kept asking him, not knowing he was deaf. He didn't read my lips, or call for some help or anything. He just shrugged. GREAT customer service, there Helen!
Moral of the story: don't shop at Walmart.
Vic,
You should have taken out paper and pencil and shown her how to divide by 2! And, my too sweet daughter, you might have asked to see a manager.
OMG. I am new here and I LOVE it. You know how to spell segue!!! That is really important to me. Hope you don't mind if I bring a few suitcases, 'cause I'm sticking around this place.
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