You know what I hate? Fireworks. They're ugly. And dumb. And terribly anti-climatic. Yet everyone loves them. You know why? Because we've been watching fireworks go off for hundreds of years and nobody has bothered to question it.
Newsflash: THIS IS THE ELECTRONIC AGE! This isn't 1906 when a few sporadic flashes of light in the sky makes us about jizz our pants. We have America's Funniest Videos and myspace and blogging and gaming and lifelike images on our Plasma TV's ("oooooh, aaahhh"). We can make a song on our own computer, or visit a webpage devoted solely to people who like to pierce themselves in strange places, or have someone read a book to us through our MP3 players.
We don't need no stinkin' fireworks anymore.
I'm not completely un-American. We did what any good white-trash family would do: we watched them on TV. Until about 5 minutes into it when my 7-year-old said, "This is boring. Put on Sponge Bob."
3 comments:
I am not big on fire works either... We didn't even watch them on TV.
It is even better if you live by the Tempe Irrigation Ditch. Thousands upon thousands of idiots park in front of your house, then walk 3 blocks in the sweltering heat, and some even pay extra money to sit on hot metal bleachers. Then, after a couple of hours of sweating, thousands of arms point out their favorites, nudging each other, "Look! Look at that one!"
What is even better is how much cities and organizations pay for these displays....try a couple hundred thousand bucks!
Oh my gosh I hate them too! So overrated. Also they terrorise pets and wildlife. And people dot now when to bloody stop! So here I am 1 am tired as anything spending new years trying to keep a poor scared dog from feeaking out and running away to hide, while idiots in the neighbourhood have been setting off fireworks indiscriminately since Christmas and almost consistently for the last 4 hours
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