It's a Man's World

You know what I hate? Inequality of the sexes. It happens in the real world; it happens in the toy world. Check out the latest Polly Pocket cast. They are the "four career" dolls. Of course, the man gets to be the doctor. Not only that, but he comes with his own set of gender-bending accoutrements. (They originally created only a white doctor's bag for him, but he told the company it made him look like a homo, so he made sure they designed a black doc case as well.) His physician's salary has supported the regular treatments of Botox he receives. Just look at those "deer in the headlight" eyes. That's money well spent. Nice work.


Notice the role of the women in the Polly Career Set. The women are relegated to much less dignified livelihoods. Woman #1 is an artist. Woo-woo. She only became an artist because her grandma fashioned her a smock out of her grand-dad's old butcher's suit. It just fell into place from there. She doesn't know it, but the red cravat that Grandma stitched is terribly intimidating to men. "Polly Artist" hasn't been laid in 2 years. And she's so poor that she's eaten Ramen for the past 12 days. Yeah, nice role model.

Woman #2 is a chef for a private resident. She used to have an apron that actually covered the area most likely to be soiled by food, but the private resident told her he was paying good money to see "them tits" and demanded that she shorten the apron to below the waist. In this particular picture, she's really forcing a smile because her private resident just asked her to cook up some chocolate-covered oysters and she's a little concerned over where this will lead. She has thoughts of leaving the private resident and going to work for Chilis, but the private resident is a little bit psycho and she worries he'll pull a "Fatal Attraction" maneuver on her little yellow cat.

Woman #3 is a good old-fashioned whore. What set of career toys is complete without the token hooker? Unfortunately, this particular whore probably doesn't make a ton of money. Why? Because she's so pigeon-toed that she can't even walk, let alone spread em' for the horny dudes who try to pick her up on Van Buren Avenue only to eventually drive away in disgust because they are too weak to hoist her electric wheelchair into the back of their car. Role model? Come on -- her legs will atrophy into toothpicks in 2, 3 years tops. At least she'll have that fur-lined housecoat to wear when her pimp eventually dumps her off at the Assisted Living Facility.