You know what I hate? Paradoxes. For those of you with small vocabularies, a paradox is when two things are contradictory and don't make a shit of sense. That description is straight from Webster by the way. The reason I don't like paradoxes is because they boggle my brain. The one that recently started my mind into a spiraling pit of disillusionment was The Handicapped Paradox. I know, I know -- they're handicapped. Give them a break. Cut them some slack. They've been dealt a bad hand. Right? Sorry! They annoy the hell out of me. Yes, I'm mean. Live with it. Okay?
So, here's why the Handicapped miff me AND represent the ultimate paradox. When you're in your car on the road, and in a hurry (or maybe even NOT in a hurry, but wanting to do the speed limit at least), who is always in front of you going 2 miles per hour? If you answered, "the handicapped," then give yourself 2 points.
But when you're walking from Old Navy to Wet Seal, and trying to enjoy the sites and aromas of the lovely Metrocenter Mall, from whom do you hear a quickly approaching motorized scooter on your heels? Who nearly flattens your 5-year-old and sends you over the railing of the second mall layer? Who is ironically doing quadruple the speed in their scooter, which has a lawnmower motor, than they do in their Lincoln towncar, which has a V6? Who approaches and hollers, abruptly and impatiently, "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me. I need to get around!!"? If you answered, "the handicapped," then you've solved the riddle of The Handicapped Paradox.
Can't they just be consistent?
3 comments:
P.S. -- Sara sent me my first SPAM comment!!! I can't figure out how to remove it. Because of Sara, I have now turned on an anti-spam mechanism and you'll be required to type some extra security letters to post a comment. Yes, because of Sara, when you comment now, you will spend 5 additional seconds of your life typing random letters. Those are 5 seconds that YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK. Thanks, Sara!
Excellent! I was offended AND I laughed. Teachers: this is an excellent example of a paradox. Please make use of it in your classrooms.
Sara: You are super hot and I like making use of your templates.
I like the new inconvenient "word verification" feature.....
and now I wish Kevin had a link.
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