Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Testy Toasters (not THOSE kind of testies you perve)

You know what I hate? Toasters with an attitude. I have hated them since I was old enough to brown up some tasty latch-key kid Rainbo Bread as an afternoon snack.

The toaster I have right now, which wasn't cheap (those wide slots for bagels aren't for the impoverished), thinks it's the boss of the world. No matter what I set the "brown-o-meter" to, my toaster decides that a mild parch is sufficient. It's starting to piss me off!

When my toaster catapults a doughy white bagel at me, after I've set the meter to a crispy brown setting, I get really, really mad. Then I try to push the lever back down, but it won't stay. The toaster, in its "I rule the world" kind of way, is saying to me, "That bagel is crisp enough. Now move along, fatty!"

So, refusing to be outsmarted by a toaster, I hold the little lever down against its will. You know what happens now...because you've been wrestling with these same kind of testy toasters all your life, too. Yes, the toaster begins to honk. Or grind. Or whatever the hell it's doing in there.

So, I eat my pasty bagel and decide to try again the next day.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm just wondering why you don't buy a "toaster oven" oh yeah....Skid, sorry.

Anonymous said...

This is my favorite blog (with the exception of your modeling photos). I know we were talking about this last week. I agree with you 100%, I like my toast like I like my men, hot and dark... hee hee, just kidding, about the men part.

Anonymous said...

one word: atkins