Monday, December 05, 2005

A Ho-Down

You know what I hate? Ho's. Or, to put it more mildly, needy skanks. It's really not the 'skank' part of these particular women that bothers me; it's the 'needy' part. Needy women dilute the female's power, influence and mystery. Needy women reduce the female kind to dog-like status (e.g. pet me when you feel like it, but I'll be right here when you need me). Not that there is anything wrong with dogs -- I love them more than 99.9% of the human population -- but come on, when it comes to self-respect, they're pretty low on the totem pole. Plus, what do dogs call their owners? That's right -- masters! So, when a woman acts like a dog, she's basically handing over all power to her man. She, in essence, has become a slave to the man!

I came to the realization that I'm angry at needy skanks the other day when driving. Let me paint the setting: I'm late. There are two lanes -- left and right. In the left lane are White Wannabe Rappers. The White Wannabe Rappers are driving a car that's worth about $500 atop wheels worth about 3 grand, wearing their hats sideways, and sporting some ground-thumping, bass-heavy music from their car's stereo. I hate them immediately. Not only do they look ridiculous, but they're driving slow and let's not forget...I'M LATE.

In the right lane is seemingly innocent Needy Skank. I don't know she's a needy skank at first. She looks like a normal girl to me and since the White Wannabe Rappers are driving so slowly, I switch into Needy Skank's lane, cause at least she's driving the speed limit. Right at that moment in time, Needy Skank notices the White Wannabe Rappers and thinks they're pretty hot in that Eminem-kinda way. So, she slows to their pace and begins to bop to their music and bat her eyelashes at them and act in a generally whorish manner.

Even the White Wannabe Rappers are too good for this poor Needy Skank. Why? Because guys can smell a Needy Skank from a mile away and this girl's got it bad. Guys stay away from Needy Skanks, because while they are generally generous with their affections, they often turn out to be stalkers. So, they look at her once then ignore her. "Move along now," I'm mouthing to her, hoping she saves some remote shred of dignity. But no, she layers on the charm and starts REALLY boogying to their thumping tunes, all the while just waiting for some attention -- a smile, nod, just a turn in her direction. Nothing. By this time, my cheeks are bright red, for not only is she making a complete fool of herself, but she's also making ME REALLY LATE!

Finally, she gets a hint and moves along, and I finally get to go around the low mileaging Wannabe Rappers. I start to digest the situation, as I often do. What makes this girl so needy for attention? What did she expect from the exchange -- a friendly nod? A phone number exchange? A proposition? And most importantly, why the hell is she watering down the female power by acting so pathetic?

I'm pissed at her for being so pathetic. All the bra-burning and equality and respect that women of the past century have fought for has been nudged backward by this girl. Girlfriends -- we're better than this. I mean, I'm getting older and I appreciate an occassional whistle from day laborers huddled in the Home Depot parking lot. But, I don't beg, or even ask, for my harrassment. I earn it the good, old-fashioned way -- by acting completely arrogant and unintersted. Of course, I really AM arrogant and uninterested, but the point is that I don't reduce myself to a state of neediness. And you shouldn't either.

So, any woman out there reading this who might think she has to tape her cleavage upward the next time she goes out to the club, I urge you to reconsider. Instead, walk into the club with an air of confidence and power, and I guarantee, your attraction will be magnified!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, Miss V. thats alot of pent-up "hate". I hope your blogging releases some of it...either way remember we love you as is!

Anonymous said...

Your point is well taken, but there is an alternate feminist take on this -- the one that Paglia famously used to make the "boy toy" Madonna into a feminist icon. The only reason certain behaviors are considered "whorish" by the bourgeoisie is because those behaviors to fit the current bourgeois model of femininity. those behaviors are almost always exemplified my members of the lower classes, since the lower classes are one of the two classes by which the bourgeoisie defines iteself.

Whores use their womanness to get what they desire, just as bourgeois women use their womanness to get what they desire. They just have different forms. The bourgoisie usually define the lower class forms as "a lack of manners and decorum."

Kevin

Anonymous said...

I want the address of this nose picking J.J. I can take him. He can't talk to CCS that way. What does he know about fashion? Is he really a "tard" or is that a spelling error? Hang in there Mom. Wait until she turns 16. You think you got problems now.