You know what I hate? When you are at work, and you sneeze, and you decide not to cover your mouth and nose (because it's YOUR space) and then your computer monitor has a bunch of little snot drippings on it and these nasal specks turn the monitor into a rainbow of colors (in the areas where the driblets occur) and then you try to wipe the whole thing clean with the fleshy side of your little sweaty hand, which really smears it all into a bigger rainbow, and then the guy in the cubicle next door to you who hasn't "visited" over the wall in 2 months decides he needs to ask you a question and you're caught, red handed (or rainbow-handed as it were), and even though the guy in the cubicle next door is fat and ugly, he scowls as if he's just learned you have crabs or something.
Granted, now that I've been unemployed for 5 months, this hasn't happened in awhile, but I just sprayed a good one all over my flat-screen at home (it looked like the monitor had rainbow measles) and was reminded of what can happen when you're NOT in the comfort of your own home. Hallelujah for unemployment!
3 comments:
Ok - I just can't imagine what kind of person WOULDN'T want to cover their nose when they sneeze. I'm now rethinking all of those times you criticized people who left their "snot rags" lying around. At least their germs were contained!!!!
I never spray body fluids on my computer screen, but the spray from freshly-opened beer cans creates the same effects: dazzling pixelated crystals. Pretty.
I'm not sure how to take the "fat and ugly" comment. "Fat" is not necessarily a negative.
Kevin,
Yeah, you're right. I'm fat. It's definitely not a negative. I love my rolls and my B.I.F. (butt in front).
By the way, the guy I was referring to was you -- remember when we worked together at AMEX? HA HA -- just kidding!
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